The good, the bad and the ugly – ranking the World Cup’s best and worst kits

The World Cup kick’s off in less than week’s time when the planet’s best footballer’s will be strutting their stuff in some highly questionable, or highly desirable attired deepening on your viewpoint.

With kit culture very much on the rise, Metro’s resident jersey boys Gavin Brown and Steve Charnock sort the top threads from the dire attire on parade at the World Cup…

THE GOOD

1) Curacao away

They might be the smallest nation to ever make it to the World Cup but the footballing representatives of the Caribbean island of Curacao can stand extremely tall when they walk out in their gorgeous change strip. The away shirts of all the teams wearing adidas have a retro feel that goes beyond the trefoil – Belgium and Spain are also in good hands – but but only Curacao boast this knockout soft yellow number. GB.

2) South Korea away

Traditionalists might wince at the idea of a football kit that’s a lavender-tinted floral print. But there’s something rather attractive about this. Especially if you’re a bee. UK-based South Koreans may well find that the glow-in-the-dark badge on this away kit comes in handy. What with all three of the Taegeuk Warriors’ qualifiers taking place in the wee small hours of the morning (GMT). Which is good news if you’re a moth. SC

3) Ghana home

Amidst the adidas templates and kit design groupthink it may be hard to stand out from the crowd this summer but Ghana manage it with a bang. White shirt, big black star on the breastbone, backed by a multi-coloured spider’s web design which suggests one of Asamoah Gyan’s children got busy with the crayons. Bold and beautiful. GB

4) Bosnia-Herzegovina home

More teams at the World Cup means a greater variety of kit manufacturers, which is mostly a good thing. This one is made by Kelme, which conjurs images of brash and baggy mid 90s LaLiga gear. But it’s no retro retread. The smart navy blue number with subtle yellow and white pinstripes, and a gorgeous font for the yellow numbers is all very sleek. The away strip is great too. GB

5) France away

The French are, of course, snappy dressers. So it shouldn’t come as a huge shock to discover that their apparel for the summer is absolument parfait. The home strip is classic French dark bleu. And the away? Nike call the hue ‘Igloo’, but this isn’t a nod to Pingu – it’s a flirtatious wink at the Statue of Liberty. And a sly reference to the colour of their generous 1886 gift to the USA. “Ooooh, America – remember that massive and expensive present we got you that time?” Shameless toadying to the co-hosts. Merde! SC

6) Mexico third

Who needs a third kit at a World Cup? Well, no one really, but if it’s as tremendous as this we can to make an exception. On the face of it the black base doesn’t scream at you but it helps accentuate the oversized national crest, the trefoil and the three stripes, all of which are shaded in the green, white and red of the Mexican flag. GB

7) Belgium away

We all know international shirts don’t carry sponsors, even if World Cups are stuffed with corporate deals. Our legal team would therefore like to make it crystal clear that the Belgian FA did not commission the company behind Millions sweets to design this away kit. That doesn’t stop its distinctive pink-and-blue colour scheme making you fancy a trip to the corner shop, mind. In reality, the inspiration here is René Magritte’s 1928 surrealist artwork La Voix des Airs. Goldsmiths alumni may already have clocked that. Classy. SC

8) Germany home

The latest and last in a 40+ year association with adidas, Germany’s kit, with the colours of the national flag across the chest bears unmistakeable and deliberate resemblance to the classic worn by the 1990 winners. The blurb also claims to be inspired by the shirt from the 2010 champions but the diamonds in the middle also spark memories of 1994 – the last World Cup in the USA – when Berti Vogts’ men were shocked by Bulgaria in the quarter-finals. GB

9) South Africa away

Bafana x2 have quietly produced one of the tournament’s classiest strips. Their forest green and gold away kit pairs a classy Adidas trefoil with vertical stripes made up of hand-drawn geometric patterns, while the Protea emblem gives it a distinctly South African flavour. Sadly, FIFA’s strict kit regulations have conspired against it. With no kit clashes expected in the group stage, this little collared beauty is unlikely to make it out of the kit man’s checked luggage, save for an unlikely run deep into the competition. What a waste. SC

THE BAD

10) USA home

World Cup ‘94 in the US is remembered for two iconic penalty misses: Roberto Baggio’s crucial shootout spoon in the final and Diana Ross’ toe punt shank in the opening ceremony. The USMNT’s stars and stripes kits from that tournament are being echoed here 32 years later. This time the wavy flag stripes on the home kit are horizontal, as they should be. Sadly, however, this time around there won’t be a giant, mad, long-haired, bearded ginger Viking of a centre back inside one of them. SC

11) Panama away

Panama will be the first team to wear Reebok at a World Cup since 1998, so it’s fitting that their minimalist white away strip with neat black and red piping on the V-neck collar and centred badge and logo resembles something John McGinlay or Owen Coyle might have worn for Bolton Wanderers back in the day. No nonsense. GB

12) Turkey away

This bland also-ran of a shirt is so nondescript compared to most of its World Cup stablemates it’s the sartorial equivalent of a suburban Superdry dad from Clapham going on a night out with a group of Congolese sapeur dandies. This generic, off-the-rack design is so forgettable it’s hard to recall what it looks like even while you’re looking at it. Worse, it’s fundamentally flawed. Just look how crammed together the number, Nike swoosh and flag are. And why is that mostly red crescent-and-star flag mounted on a similarly red banner? It practically disappears. There’s no Turkish delight here. SC

13) Egypt away

Alright, maybe this pick is a tad harsh. In and of itself, there’s nothing really to dislike about the Pharoahs’ changed strip. Then again, there’s very little to enjoy. The deep red home kit already has pyramid motifs emblazoned on it. C’mon, Egypt, did you have to go for more polyhedrons? Look, we know The Great Pyramids are incredible and you’re right to be proud of them. But you could’ve featured a subtle Sphinx in the design instead. Or King Tutankhamun. Or Omar Sharif riding a camel. Use your imaginations. SC

14) England home

It’s fine, but Nike’s latest effort for the Three Lions hints at the retro boom without quite having the conviction to go all in. The result is something that looks like it may have been designed by a committee then run through ChatGPT for good measure. If football is coming home, it deserves to be better dressed than this. That said, if football does come home, this shirt will be instantly iconic, of course. GB

15) Canada home

Oh, Canada. Your ice hockey shirts are iconic, your cycling jerseys always deliver. Really, with that big maple leaf you shouldn’t be able to go wrong. And yet here we are. On the biggest stage, as co-hosts of the World Cup for the first and likely only time, an all-red shirt in which said maple leaf is a mere silhouette just doesn’t deliver enough punch. GB

16) Australia away

Where did they find this? The blurb says the colours evoke the intense sunrises seen in the outback, but I’m just seeing a turquoise shirt with some orange sprayed over the shoulders. Could potentially put off some tourists. GB

17) Switzerland away

Credit (Suisse) to them, the good folk of Switzerland are responsible for some pretty snazzy inventions, innovations and exports. We can thank them for Velcro, tin foil, CERN, fondue, muesli, LSD and large wooden clocks with spring-loaded wooden birds that jump out and shout at everyone. Muddying that record somewhat is this World Cup’s insult to vision itself. A lime green kit is pushing your luck. But a _slime _green one? That’s shoving your luck into Lake Geneva and holding its head under the water until it finally relents and accepts its fate. SC

18) Haiti home

Kudos to Haiti here for trying to celebrate their history, culture and national identity on their kits. The trouble is, they’ve attempted to do all three at once. It’s a small wonder they haven’t also squeezed in a few volcanos, some palm trees, a local restaurant recommendation and a picture of Wyclef Jean’s face. It’s all a bit busy and veers dangerously close to looking rather like the opening slide of a Year 8 geography presentation about the Caribbean nation. SC

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